21 Odes to My Life's Absurdities
Dedicated to all my friends and family, old and new, lost ones and those destined for the future. Your unconditional love is what's fuelled this courage to unleash myself even more upon this world.
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I'd written these to help me pick-myself-up from deep-down-under someday, and they have served me well, sooner than I would have imagined.
I am sharing them in the hope that they can be useful beyond the absurdities of my own life :).
#1
What must I write,
What must you read,
I have no saintly heart,
Nor a writer's mind.
What must I write,
What must you read,
I have just a broken heart,
And a stoic's mind.
What must I write,
What must you read,
So here's a speech,
In the words of my absurd mind.
#2
In the silence,
Of this night,
Beats my heart,
Upon my silly little soul.
In the cold,
Of this wind,
Burns my silly little soul,
Upon my silent lonely heart.
In the darkness,
Of this hour,
Speaks my silent lonely heart,
To only the universe of the stars.
#3
Who am I,
I'm sure no one asked,
I liked to remain hidden,
And feared of being found.
Who should I be,
Only I ever asked,
I just liked to be honest,
To the depths of my heart.
Who did I become,
I barely made that far,
I never cared to finish myself,
And just wanted to die with a laugh.
#4
What a unique name,
What does it means?
I was asked far too often,
Like a perpetually looping scene.
It meant someone who has fame,
But, how would that be fun?
Neither could it ever be true,
Nor was it easy to shout, or hum.
So I made a little change,
And the question turned into a play,
I'd make a unique meaning,
Depending on the whereabouts of the day.
What a unique name,
What does it mean?
I was asked far too often,
And every meaning became a new dream.
#5
How old must I be,
Would be one of the ways,
For you to judge me by,
For you to know me by.
How must I behave today,
They'd tell me how to play,
Based on what the world would say,
If it knew my actual age.
So, I turned the numbers around,
And backed them up a little,
To where I'd like,
Life to be found.
After 27, I'd say,
I aged backwards,
By a little bit,
Every day.
So now, I can play,
Like a child on a sunny day,
And no one can judge me wrong,
For I'm doing exactly as per my age.
#6
Sometimes,
I have an urge,
To disappear,
And let myself surge.
But sometimes,
Comes too often.
Wouldn't it be far too less,
To surge only once?
So I looked around,
Where all could I be,
Without having to surge too far,
And blowing much of my means.
And that is when I found,
What it's like to be,
To walk slow through a winding lane,
And look far beyond your eyes' reach.
So sometimes, When I have an urge,
To disappear, Beyond what's already seen,
I just pickup myself, And walk,
On roads not farther, Than an hour,
Yet roads on which, I've never been.
#7
I read so many books,
In school and in college,
They all fed us facts,
And asked questions to keep us in check.
Yet none taught us life,
That came after all the grades,
They all fed us true facts,
But never taught us the world's ways.
And then I read some books,
After school and after college,
The ones that answered my questions,
That I asked after the reality-check.
#8
I once sat in a car,
With my first boss,
With my team from my first job,
And the bosses of their humble boss.
He spoke about his marriage,
The happy times, but not those of sadness,
So I asked him a question about sad times,
Times when it would seem like a total mess.
I once sat in a car,
With my first boss and his team,
And they all looked at me like I was crazy,
But I'd just been honest about my curious thoughts.
#9
I never saw a mountain fall,
Or an ocean dry till its bed,
But I saw all of us fail,
With our heels over our heads.
Little things would lead to big troubles,
Or our fate would have failed to keep up,
While we hurried into hurricanes,
Thinking life would somehow make up.
So I made a lot of seat belts,
Taking inspiration from our accidental lives,
To hold me firm in my humble place,
When the unfortunate, unfortunately strikes.
#10
Most days I was so lazy,
I'd hate to even wake up,
And run around the house,
To make bed, breakfast, and then burrp.
Most days I was so sleepy,
I'd hate to ever wake up,
And run around the world,
To make money, moat and then smirk.
Then one day,
I stopped looking at the time,
Turned off all the alarms,
And just kept my windows open to the sunshine.
Those days,
I'd hate to stay in bed.
I'd want to run around the world,
Find flowers and friends to hug,
Find work that I could love,
And sip on warm gratitude,
From a bright yellow colored mug.
#11
Once when I was a boy,
And everyone laughed at me,
My friends had their girlfriends,
Who were also very friendly with me.
So I thought I'll be alone,
As no one could understand me,
Yet one day I found a love,
That tickled a soul deep inside me.
Once when I was a man,
A loving one I'd I promised to be,
I had an awesome girlfriend,
But I broke her heart too deep.
So I thought I'll be alone,
As no one would ever forgive me,
Yet one day I found a love, again,
That tickled a soul deep inside me.
#12
I liked to sit in silence,
And let the silence fill me in,
Remove all the chaos,
And make space where I could sing.
But all the world as it is now,
With all the loud and bright things,
They'd suck on me like mosquitos,
And separate me from my own being.
So I hid myself in corners,
More than I ever liked to be,
Where I'd find myself in silence,
And where my songs would bring me to peace.
#13
When someone lost a loved one,
I'd wonder why they would cry,
I'd wonder why they would grieve,
I'd wonder why they wouldn't rejoice.
For I had a few close ones,
Who made me cry alive,
Who made me grieve all the years,
While they lived about and thrived.
When someone lost a loved one,
I'd feel envy while they'd cried,
They had been blessed with such a joy,
And the blessing so long had survived.
#14
I'd been called a joker, no less,
When I was young as a school boy,
I'd laugh as loud as one could,
For reasons yet not known why.
Then I grew up into a man,
A man not taught how to cry,
Sometimes, I'd get so angry,
For reasons yet not known why.
So I went back to laughing like I should,
And let the sadness inside me, pass me by,
While life made jokes on me, better than mine,
For reasons yet not known why.
#15
Sometimes I'd shut my self,
Into old ways and habits and sigh,
Unable to get out of circles,
Drawn by my own one handed mind.
Then I'd sit and search deep within myself,
For that song sung deep down inside,
Watch the words and tone and the ring,
And be ready to jump on an insight.
Sometimes I'd do something different,
Something stupid and silly and unwise,
Just to fall out of a circle I'd drawn,
By not listening to the song sung inside.
#16
Gulp gulp gulp,
Gulp the bad stuff down,
Like a medicine, they'd say,
Gulp it before you drown.
Hurt hurt hurt,
Hurt makes you frown,
Like a medicine, they'd say,
Gulp it without a sound.
Blast blast blast,
Blow your brains on the wall,
Is that how you're going to end,
Or are you doing to go for a walk?
Bloom bloom bloom,
Let your colors light up the moon,
You cannot escape the world,
But you can learn how to dance like a fool.
Gulp gulp gulp,
You cannot always choose,
But don't let their sayings trap you down,
Just learn how to sing while you poop.
#17
We hate what we don't know,
Yet we run away from a universal truth,
We hate that life isn't what we thought,
Yet we never plan for how we'll face it when it's through.
I've thought about death for a long long time,
I've dreamed many days about how I'd go,
But more than anything, I've imagined,
How I'd want to feel just before my last breathe holds.
We hate what we don't know,
And I don't know when we my time will be done,
But I am not gonna hate how my life was,
Cos I took every chance and choice not to frown.
We hate what we don't know,
And I don't know how the final card will be dealt,
But I've dreamed about those final moments,
And I'm gonna die laughing at my own self.
#18
We got everything that we wanted,
Yet life turned a surprise,
The air we breathed, turned to a storm,
Everything we had blew away without warning cry.
I got everything I wanted,
Yet my heart turned a surprise,
The attachments that it grew,
Turned into cracks as soon as something died.
We got everything that we wanted,
Yet life turned a surprise,
We never took anything as a blessing,
Thought we could own everything for a price.
I got everything I ever wanted,
Yet my soul learned to be wise,
The attachments were always meant to be let gone,
Every roof is just a temporary shade from the sky.
#19
We'll lose many things,
Out of just a bit of stupidity,
But fret not about what's gone,
And serve not yourself with your own pity.
We'll fail at many things,
Out of being just a little bit silly,
But fret not about whatever happens,
Just learn to look beyond your feelings.
We'll cry at many things,
Because life can be more than a bit shitty,
But fret not, because then it also wouldn't be,
So interesting, if it weren't a little bit twisty.
#20
Is the sun not coming up today?
Or is the sky failing to be so bright?
Are the stars not willing to twinkle?
Or is the darkness not wanting to reveal the night?
What's this problem that you are facing?
Is it not wanting to be solved?
Are you going to sit with it on your head?
And are you going to let it get to you heart?
Make a list of steps that you could take,
Look for roads that you never thought to take,
Find a few friends who can help you on the way,
For there ain't no problem that can stop the day.
#21
At the end, what must we remember,
At the end, when must it come,
At the end, what all would even matter,
At the end, what will have we become?
No matter what we do,
No matter what life makes of us,
No matter who you befriend,
No matter what our enemies think of us.
At the end, we must remember,
At the end, for it sure will come,
At the end, nothing else will matter,
Except the laughs, that made the pain numb.
#Bonus
Well well well,
Let's chase happiness and be swell,
Find that which makes us more of it,
And store it like water in a well.
Hell hell hell,
Let not sadness turn everything into a hell,
Find that which makes us burn into ash,
And hide it away somewhere deep in a well.
Well well well,
They're not commodities that you can buy or sell,
No matter where you dig and as deep as you like,
Treasures and bones exist together under every chapel.
#Bonus
Why am I here,
Asked everyone, but not god,
I've crashed a few many parties,
But never felt unwelcome on my earthly abode.
What am I to do here,
Now that was a valuable thought,
I've been to a few many jobs,
But happy wasn't happy in the happiness of my lords.
Where am I to go from here,
And hence I was back to being lost,
But I know a few many places,
That could use me well for my earthly abode.
